


Just come home.

by marybay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Captain Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Character Death, Commander Erwin Smith, Death, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Letters, Levi Ackerman Needs a Hug, Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 03 Spoilers, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:29:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29867784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marybay/pseuds/marybay
Summary: A soulmate, who wasn't meant to be...!!SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3!!
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith
Kudos: 22





	Just come home.

_To my dearest Levi,_

_I am writing this with my only hand. I am alone in a room you have yet to dust, or to come into today. I know that I will not return home again. I'm not speaking of our building, but I'll let you ponder about where, or rather who, my home is._

_I am afraid my feelings will forever stay unspoken, however I'm certain you understand them._

_Whether or not they are requited, I will never find out. I can only hope that my death is not too much of a burden for your lovely heart. I shall hold you once again, before we leave. I do not want you to forget me, however I doubt you will._

_Take my coat, Levi, my cloak and my blades, for there is no greater man to possess them. Wear my cloak with pride, wear the coat with pride and know, that it's my body embracing you in the way it finds possible in it's non-solid form._

_Slash my blades as the warrior I made you out to be. Slash our enemies, every each of them and find the truth, Levi. For if there is anyone capable of achieving freedom, it is you._

_Shall anyone deceive you, don't let them. You do not need me to tell you this, but I must write it for my own old heart's satisfaction. I wish, Levi to be by your side, however I must not give in to anymore selfish desires._

_I have slaughtered many of our soldiers to save my own self, selfishly. I have lied the burden of being the commander onto Hange Zöe shall I die, selfishly. I have lied the burden of saving the world on a fifteen year old soldier, who was a child that wanted to be like me, selfishly._

~~_And what a terrible thing to wish for as a innocent child that is._ ~~

_But most importantly,_

_I have lied the burden of my death onto ~~the person I am in love with~~ , the person I do not wish to hurt and the person I will never be able to say these words to with my own lips, selfishly._

_Shall I ever see their face in this world again, I will confess my unhinged devotion to them. I will let them make a decision for us both and shall they refuse to acknowledge my affections, I will walk away._

_My old heart will be shattered into many pieces, yet I love them so much to turn away shall their heart desire someone else than me._

_I wonder, Levi, have you ever loved someone so much to let them walk away as though you held no feelings at all?_

**Levi blinks his tears away. He can't continue to read this.**

_Because that is how I will be walking away, soon._

_Shall you ever reach out to me, know, I will hear you. I may not be by your side as a living, breathing thing, but I will stay. I will listen to your desires, to the cries you believe you hide well, but I'm aware of them._

_I hear your wails at night, my dearest, and I find myself unable not to tell you that they pain me as much as it pains me to leave your side, knowing I will never come back._

_I hear you when you find it impossible to rest, constantly shifting on your bed and throwing the pillow on it's other side, in the hopes of comfort._

_You call out to Farlan and Isabel, if I do meet them, I'll surely tell them the best things about you. I'm sure they are watching over you, but I do feel more content when talking about you, than about anything else._

_Do not shed tears at my words._

**,,How am I not supposed to?"**

_We will meet again, my dearest. And when that time truly comes, I will not let go of you, shall you feel the same._

_My heart is always with you, Levi._

_~~Commander~~ ,_

_Hopelessly devoted to you, for all eternity,_

_Erwin Smith._

* * *

Levi runs out of his room, without his uniform. Erwin is still not outside of the wall and if he hurries up, he'll catch up to him. 

Except, Erwin isn't there, nor are the cadets. It's only his kids and Hange. Levi looks around, in panic.

,,Whare are they?!" He barks at Hange, who sighs. 

,,They left for the mission earlier. On Erwin's command." Hange answered.

,,You fucking bastard." Levi kicks a nearby pole, that unfortunately breaks and falls to the freshly cleaned floor. Levi doesn't care.

,,Just please, come home." The captain whispers to himself, before leaving to hide in his room.

* * *

It's today. They're coming back. Levi feels it in his bones. The rain is heavy, but a single crow sits near the window as if the rain didn't exist at all.

He runs to the barracks, almost tripping over his tiny feet and he stops in his tracks when he sees Mike and Erwin on a horse.

 _Erwin is back_.

 **No**.

 _Erwin is home_.

,,Erwin, you—" Levi stops in his tracks.

His eyes widen. 

Mike's face says it all. 

_Their commander is gone._

,,No.." Levi mumbles, his facade falling to pieces with every step the beast takes. 

,, _No_." Levi's eyes are still wide as tears pour to the corners of them, threatening to fall down.

,, _No_...." Eyes closed, he goes over to Mike's horse. 

Opening his eyes, he sees the gap on Erwin's side.

He doesn't cut out Erwin's emblem.

He carefully takes his whole cloak and puts it on, before taking the unmoving body off of the horse.

His own body would normally collapse under Erwin's weight, but right now? He's gone. 

Levi Ackerman is far from a human right now.

,,Where are you taking his body?!" Some cadet shouts after him, but Levi doesn't hear.

Levi only hears the blood in his ears, the ringing in them. He can only feel his heartbeat, and how the body he's holding is lacking one.

He can not feel anything other than that. His head is a void. A void full of nothingness, meaningless thoughts and emotions never to be expressed.

Once he comes to Erwin's door, he knocks out of habit, realising that no one is in. _And isn't going to be for a long time._

He places the sleeping man onto the bed he used to inhabit, holding the corners of his cloak. He should wrap the cloak around the blonde, let him have some intimacy in his death, but he can't.

He strokes the man's cheek, wishing the blonde could feel it and maybe touch him as well. 

,,You said you'd hear me.. If I told you something, you'd hear." A single tear escapes Levi's left eye and he's quick to wipe it as he sits down on the bed, next to the body, the bed creaking under him.

,, _Please_ , come home." Levi squeezes the freezing hand, imagining how it would feel for it to squeeze his own too. Wishing, for it to squeeze back.

,,Just.." Levi breathes out a sigh, another tear falls out of his eye. ,, _Come home_." 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. 
> 
> But hey, at least Erwin lost all the restraint and confessed his feelings... Somewhat.


End file.
